Thought Pong

Okay, here's what you'll do if you're smart. Work your whole life and give us the money. Then when you get old and really need it, we'll give it back to you. We're here to help. Now get busy.

Wow, how'd you like to be the top public-relations rep for the Chinese Olympics? Those damn cell phones and the Internet! Since Rodney King, censorship and propaganda just haven't been the same. I know I've seen events with my own eyes, then heard the sanitized reports about them on the news. And I've watched initial TV news stories, then been amazed as the facts evolve to the official version, with anything that contradicts the desired truth having been edited out. But, ah-ha!, that's not gonna be so easy anymore. It'll be fun to watch as our Corporate Rulers and Law Enforcement have to scramble as employees and witnesses can record AND INSTANTLY BROADCAST uncensored versions of nefarious business practices, crowd control tactics, arrests, and other events. Those sick cows in the slaughterhouse and the "crackdown" on protesters in Tibet are just the beginning. Reality TV with no commercials. Break out the popcorn!

With crime leveling off across the country, prison guard and police unions are considering new avenues for expansion. Hey, caffeine can be harmful. How about a prohibition on coffee? It would be better for business than marijuana and prostitution combined, and talk about job security! Get a few preachers and media moguls fired up, and there'll be promotions for everybody! And we can start spraying South America again! It's all good!

The beauty of distance is gone these days. You can fly to Africa for lunch and be home in time for dinner. Or work your way up the Amazon for two weeks, yet your mother can still call to check on you whenever she wants. Local customs have been reduced to dressing up for the tourists. Even just a couple hundred years ago, anywhere you happened to be on the planet, you were THERE. And if you went elsewhere, you knew it. It had its pros and cons, but it must've been nice to travel when you didn't know what to expect when you got there, and the new place was totally different than where you'd been. Life wasn't as long perhaps, but it could be so much wider. I know, I know, there's nothing we can do about it, but it's still a trip to imagine those times. Set out to sea, cross the mountains, see what's down that mysterious road. It would be cool. Nowadays for adventure we can watch Survivor, risk driving alone in the car pool lane, or drink a bottle of cough medicine. Too bad other planets are so darn far away, don't ya think?

Hey, one of those cop shows has returned after the writers' strike. Every week they hire a bunch of hot half-naked folks to be having a lot of fun that the regular cast can work around acting superior. What a concept. Skin without the sin. There're quite a few writers who do that with their novels, too, I've noticed. Have much of the action take place in strip clubs and around prostitutes and people getting high, then the good guy can be disgusted all the way through the investigation. Cashing in on the sensual pleasures without condoning them. (Isn't there a word for that?)

Last week I caught something on the news I didn't really zoom in on, but I haven't been able to get it out of my head since. Seems it's some annual religious rite here in L.A. A gaudily dressed spiritual leader dips like a toilet brush into a bucket and flings water on people and their pets as they walk by on the street. The blessing of the animals or something. This productive practice brought to us by the folks who oppose sex education, stem cell research, and birth control. We're doomed.