God, Sex, The Candidates, and Heath Ledger.

I was walking up the left side of 7th Street in Downtown L.A. the other day, when up ahead I spotted this blond-haired young woman in a short black dress, wearing those in-style boots that make legs look so good, waiting for somebody to come out of the drug store on the corner of Hope Street. I'd just passed her and was waiting to cross Hope, when a fire truck came roaring up 7th from behind me with lights and siren and that molar-jarring horn they blast at cross streets. I thought they were moving pretty darned fast, and people were holding their ears against the echoes off the buildings. As the fire truck sped through the red light, swerving to miss the cars that had been stopped there, even under those conditions the driver had to look back over his shoulder to check out the gal in the short dress. We can't help it.

The Presidential Campaign is continuing to dominate the news. I'd be more excited about the election if we had more of a choice. I mean an actual choice. Nobody running doesn't believe in the Lord and the power of prayer. They all promise to get consumers consuming (users using) more stuff sooner than the other candidates. They all promise to show those people living on the other side of the planet who's boss. They're all claiming to be sexual normals, strictly do nothing other than what's required to procreate, but I have my doubts. What is it with politicians and religious leaders that they can't say, "Hey, I get horny and have fantasies just like everybody else"? Who do they think they're fooling? I saw some back-East big-city mayor on TV just last week sitting with his forgiving wife doing that same old song and dance. "I want to apologize to everybody in the world. I'm soooooo sorry. I don't know what came over me." (Hey, I do.) So let's see if I have this straight: "I firmly believe there are invisible people living in the sky and sex is illegal unless you have a license (like for fishing) and I'll get people using our dwindling resources faster. Vote for me." (Help, where's the exit?)

Who are these people who don't want anybody to have sex that isn't a man and a woman saying they're going to stay together forever? I saw a nude dancer being interviewed on TV the other day discussing the six-inch law, customers and dancers must keep at least six inches of empty air between them. People on the other side of town dictate that two adults they don't even know can't touch, and even pay undercover cops to go watch and make sure. Amazing. But then on the news a little later the reporter told of people whipping themselves bloody in some kind of religious rite, but nobody raised a stink about that. Where's the sense? I just heard that there was a big police sweep in the Valley, a string of massage parlors charged with prostitution. Now where do their customers go for release? (A dark street near a grocery store? The local school?) What provision does society make for unmarried men to have sex? If dying their beard doesn't get them a girlfriend as promised on TV, then what? (Every candidate supports this nonsense.) Could God really not like sex?

There have always been gods. But in any culture or society, whatever name they used for their gods, all names for God translate into, "I'm not gonna die!" Beyond that, people don't want to hear; talking logic to believers is like trying to tackle smoke. Who cares no sign has ever been given. Who will admit that nothing they believe in makes a lick of sense if they gave it any thought? "I'm not gonna die and that's it so shut up." Wouldn't be so bad if they didn't feel the need to impose their beliefs on everybody else. "What? You say the EARTH goes around the SUN? That's blasphemy! Burn him at the stake!" "What? You want to have sex with someone of the same sex as you? God hates that! Burn him at the stake!" "That woman is a witch! We can't have her casting spells on our innocent children. Burn her at the stake!" "What? That man tried to hire a prostitute! In OUR town? Confiscate his car and call his wife and tell her! Pity we can't burn him at the stake anymore like he deserves." "We're saved and going to heaven and you're going to hell if you don't think like us." ("Except through me . . . ") I ask the candidates, how many people praying does it take to light a candle?

Yesterday's headline told of "dead zones" forming in the oceans, likely caused by global warming--(possibly to match the holes in the atmosphere?) Couldn't a single candidate offer some kind of plan to start a world movement with strong incentives to save the planet instead of arming friendly oil producing countries, promising to get the economy moving, and offering heartfelt prayers to disaster victims? How about a campaign to get folks seeing how much fun they can have when using as little as possible? (Hey, like the proverbial grasshopper!) Sewing and transforming old clothes as patriotic style. Living in small groups and sharing space and appliances to save. Use fast-growing hemp for fiber to make paper and building materials instead of clear-cutting forests. Government financed product- and clothing-exchange stores. Encourage the drinking of tap water instead of water that's been bottled and transported in manufactured plastic bottles. I know, no chance anything like these ideas will ever make it into any political platform.

Heath Ledger died from an accidental overdose of prescription pills. At least he died doing what he loved. What? I can only say that if it happened while he was sky diving or mountain climbing? Oh, sorry.